


A Living Nightmare

by EvermoreNight



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-29 01:40:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7665355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvermoreNight/pseuds/EvermoreNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Told from Emily's point of view<br/>Emily is captured by someone who had been stalking her for weeks and is held captive for a time and then has to live with the aftermath of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The rope rubbed against the skin of Emily’s wrists causing a stinging pain to shoot up her arms. Emily barely took notice of it as she sat up wearily, how on earth did she end up here she thought as her eyes adjusted to the dim almost dark room. The last thing she could remember was being in her hotel room, she had been in vegas to play poker not for work. She could remember being at the tables what was probably the night before but that still didn’t explain how she ended up here. The room itself was fairly small, there was a small wash basin in the corner and what she assumed was a toilet. Emily was sitting on the only piece of furniture in the room which was a bed. Out of habit she bit her lip trying to focus on how she had got her rather than what was bound to happen.   
Footsteps sounded down the hall and Emily’s breath caught in her throat. She took a deep breath and tried to calm down whatever happened she could handle it she had been through worse. An idea came to her so she laid back down and closed her eyes. She knew it was a foolish thought but maybe if they thought she was still asleep whoever it was would leave at least long enough so that she could figure out where she was. A crippling thought came to her that the team wouldn’t even know she was missing until work on monday.   
The door opened and she had to resist the urge to open her eyes and see who had entered. “We both know you aren’t sleeping Emily” a husky voice said not to far from where she was laying. Suddenly a rough hand grabbed her by her hair and pulled her up. Emily’s eyes snapped open as she bit back a yelp of pain from how hard the stranger had pulled. “They’re that’s better now.”  
“What do you want? How do you know my name and where are we” she said spit out her voice was cold.   
“The answers will come in time love, as for what do I want, isn’t that obvious?” he said a grin forming on his lips, “You.”  
Dread filled Emily when she heard his words and couldn’t help a small gasp that escaped her lips. She said nothing and just glared at him not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing how scared she actually was. The man standing before her was about 5’9 or 5’10 he had dark brown almost black unkempt hair and there was scar on his upper lip. What unnerved her the most was that the colour of his eyes was gray.  
“You’re awfully quiet now. Now tell me what are you doing here all by yourself I would have thought that at least that pretty little blond would had been with you. Oh what was her name again, Jennifer but you call her JJ don’t you” a smirk formed on his lips as he watched her waiting for her response.  
“How the hell do you know my name, and you fucking leave JJ out of this” Emily said defensively. She didn’t know how this guy had even known who JJ was her name was something he could of figured out but JJ was a different story. Emily had just barely started dating the blond and the only people who really knew were the people she worked with so for this guy to know it made her scared not for her own safety but for JJ’s.   
“Did I hit a nerve there buttercup” he said his hand cupped her face and pulled it close to him. “Now let’s get one thing straight I am the one calling the shots here not you.”   
Emily spat at him and he was close enough to her that it hit him square in the face, “Fuck you” she responded her voice full of anger. The man let go of her face and a second later Emily could fill the full force of it hit her across the face. A yelp of surprise escaped her lips but she only had a second to get her wits about her when a rough hand pulled her up roughly and threw her across the room. She hit the wall and crumpled to the floor trying to regain the air that had been knocked out of her lungs.  
“What did you say to me bitch?!” The dark haired man yelled moving towards her.   
Emily didn’t let him have the satisfaction and got to her feet the best she could with her wrists bound by the rope. “I said fuck you” she said glaring at him it took all the courage she had to hold his gaze. She wouldn’t let him know how scared she was in that moment because she knew if she gave into that fear then he would win. The last thing she saw before everything went black was a fist flying towards her face and then nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

The room wasn’t empty when Emily woke she was still on the floor but to her surprise there was a woman leaning over her. The woman looked to be somewhere in her early thirties she noticed a look of resignation in the woman’s blue eyes. Emily sat up and managed to say, “Who are you” her voice was hoarse. 

“I’m Charlotte, you shouldn’t have done that make him anger like that” Charlotte said walking over to the wash basin and wetting a cloth. She walked back to Emily and moved to clean up the dried blood that was on her face but Emily flinched away. The woman sighed and handed her the cloth. 

“Who is he and how did you get here” Emily asked accepting the cloth and dabbing at her nose the best she could with her wrists bound together. Charlotte went and untied the brunette’s wrists putting the rope aside. Emily looked at her gratefully she stood up and walked over to the wash basin placing her wrists in the ice cold water gasping as they stung. The rope had managed to rub away a few layers of skin which had left her wrists to scab and then have the scabs rubbed off just to repeat the process. 

“That is Nathanial and I suppose the same way as you. Although he got bored with me which is why he focused on you. You should had heard the way he spoke about you over the past few weeks.” The woman said and for a moment Emily thought she saw jealousy in her eyes. 

Emily had been surprised by this information that the man, Nathanial had been watching her for weeks. She closed her eyes for a moment and then she remembered that she had seen him before or at least she thought she had caught a glimpse of him once or twice while in stores or walking down the street. At the time she hadn’t thought anything of it because every time he had a dog with him so she thought it to be normal. “Look once my friends find out that i’m here they will come and save us okay.” She had no idea how long Charlotte had been here but by the looks of things long enough to have resigned herself to this life. 

“They won’t ever find you I mean from the surprise on your face you didn’t even know you were being followed. No you are going to be his new plaything for a time until he grows bored and moves on just like he did with me. The only difference is that he keeps me around because I used to be a doctor so I am of use you on the other hand are completely obsolete.” The woman said a look of disbelief in her blue eyes. 

The lock on the door clicked and the door was pulled open. Emily stood ready and bolted out into the hall without a second glance back if she could get to a phone then she could call Garcia who could track where she was. From what Emily could tell as she ran she was in a basement of some sort. She charged up the set of stairs two at a time to reach the door she turned the handle to no avail it was locked. That was when she heard the heavy laugh behind her and her breath caught in her throat as she turned to see her captor. 

“You didn’t really think it would be that easy did you? Did you think that I would let Charlotte untie your hands if I thought there was a chance you could escape and hear I thought you were supposed to intelligent. Now be a good girl and come down the stairs before I have to drag you down the choice is yours though.” 

Emily knew that it was useless to remain where she was so she reluctantly walked down the stairs figuring it was a better alternative than to be pulled down them. Suddenly Nathanial grabbed her by her hair before she could try running the other way and drug her back into the room he had kept her in. 

“I have been way to soft on you obviously and to think I sent Charlotte to see if you were okay after that little fight you started happened. Be glad that I don’t want to ruin that pretty little face of yours anymore then it has been.” He let go of her hair and she stepped back until her back was against the wall. If she could just get his keys and get that door she could escape but idea started to die as he handed them to Charlotte and told her to lock them in the room until he told her to unlock it. The girl was obviously suffering to stockholm syndrome and listened to the man like she totally worshipped him. Emily knew she wasn’t going to get any help from her actually she had made the whole situation worse.

“Now it is time that I get you off of that high horse of yours” he said a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips a gleam of excitement was in his eyes. 

The breath caught in her throat and she looked around the room for anything she could use to fight against him. Coming up empty handed she knew she would have to use her own strength against him. She pushed back her thoughts of doubt because if she started thinking about what was bound to happen she would fall apart. It was better to pretend like she actually had a chance against him. 

Nathanial stepped towards and Emily swung at him her fist made contact with the side of his jaw and he grunted in surprise. The next time she went to hit him he was ready and managed to grab her by her wrist. He twisted it until a cracking noise resounded around the small room. Tears threatened at the corner of Emily’s eyes as she bit her down on her lip hard enough to draw blood as to not scream but a groan still escaped her. 

“I’m impressed you didn’t scream, maybe you are stronger than what I thought you were.” He sounded happy about that as though it made things so much better. 

The man grabbed her other wrist and tied them with the rope that was on the ground, “as much fun as you fighting back is this will be so much more fun at least for me anyways” Nathanial remarked chuckling. Emily struggled against him as he pushed her up against the wall, she couldn’t feel the pain in her wrist as a mix of adrenaline and fear course through her as she struggled. Nathanial grabbed her face with his hand and forced his lips against hers forcing his tongue into her mouth that was when Emily bit down on his tongue. He ripped himself away from her and then grabbed her roughly and threw her back against the wall. 

Emily crumpled to the ground and before she could pull herself up again he was kicking her. The air rushed out of her lungs and she gasped for air coughing. Then she was pulled back up by her hair and shoved against the wall. “You just made things so much worse for you buttercup” he said pressing his lips against hers a lot rougher this time his fingers still grasping her hair. Emily didn’t have time to respond but she couldn’t stop the tear that rolled down her cheek. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Emily will be raped in this chapter

 

Panic gripped her as she tried to focus her mind elsewhere she tried not to think about the fact his hands her clumsily unbuttoning her shirt. He had her up against the wall her wrists were tied and her right one was throbbing like crazy. Her wrist was already swelling and turning a flaming red colour. “Why are you doing this?” she managed to choke out trying to hide her panic. 

“Why? Because it’s fun buttercup that is why. I thought you were supposed to be some hotshot profiler so why don’t you try to profile me?” A smug smirk rested on Nathanial’s lips as he finished the last button on her shirt he paused to hear her response. 

“You get off on this, you watch your victims for weeks to see what they are like and just how to break them don’t you. What did you do to Charlotte to make her worship you? But it isn’t just the hunt you like is it, you get off on breaking them although it is all a mask to hide your incompetence isn’t it. Did your mommy not love you when you are a child or did your father hit you” she said the last bit to get to him. 

Nathanial’s eyes flashed with rage and he hit the brunette across the face again. “You have no idea what you are talking about so if I were you I would just shut up. Don’t worry by the time I am done you won’t ever be able to get rid of me buttercup, I will haunt you for the rest of your life. That is right I don’t plan on killing you I want you to live with knowing I broke you.” 

Emily’s face stung and felt hot but she ignored it she knew she had to last long enough for her team to find her and get this guy. His hands groped at her breasts and she fixed her gaze to stare past him at the cement wall across the room she kept her face blank she wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of knowing how terrified she actually was. 

“Where did you get the scar buttercup?” he asked his gaze on the scar from being staked by Ian Doyle. 

“From someone far worse than you, and you think you can break me good luck I dare you” she let out a laugh, why not what was the worse that could happen. She looked him in the eyes and glared haughtily challenging him to do his worse. 

“Good thing for you I love a challenge and just watch me I will break you” his fingers laced through her hair and he pulled. That was the last thing she had expected him to say and she gasped with surprise. He kissed her again unlacing his fingers from her hair and using one hand to hold her arms over her head and against the wall his other hand drifted behind her back and undid her bra. 

Emily focused her gaze at the wall again keeping her face indifferent she tried to focus on how she would try and get a message to the team. If she could just get to a phone she could call Hotch or Morgan or something. Nathanial’s teeth tore at one of her nipples and she shut her eyes trying to forget what was happening. Then his free hand unbuttoned her pants and tore them down that was when she started to struggle again. “For a moment there I thought you were just going to take it” he laughed. 

“No shit sherlock” was all she managed before her hit her in the gut causing her to lose her breath. She would have crumpled to the ground if he hadn’t been holding her up against the wall. Emily coughed and gasped trying to regain herself but at that point she didn’t have the will to struggle. She could feel every bruise and broken bone she had gained up to that point and her body ached. Before she knew it he had unbuckled his own pants and had already pulled down her panties and was in her. 

Emily closed her eyes and tried to pretend it wasn’t happening that she wasn’t being raped at that moment. Her teeth sunk into her lip so that she wouldn’t make a sound. When he was finished her untied her hands put on his pants and told Charlotte to unlock the door. 

It wasn’t until the door shut and he was gone that she allowed herself to crumple to the ground in and allow herself to cry.   



	4. Chapter 4

Emily didn’t sleep she just laid on the bed in the corner and hugged the pillow. She couldn’t even bring herself to cry as she laid there instead she waited to hear the footsteps that she dreaded. Nathanial didn’t return until the next day and she struggled less because what was the point she wasn’t getting out of there unless she could get the keys. The next day went the same as the one before except today she knew that her team would know she was missing or at least know she hadn’t shown up for work. Before he went to leave he whispered in her, “Now that is a good girl and look who said I couldn’t break her” he said smirking. 

That was when something in her snapped and she just wanted to hurt him so she mustered all the energy she had left and pushed him against the wall. She kneed him in the balls and watched as he crumpled in pain she didn’t stop there however she kicked him and kept kicking him. It wasn’t until Charlotte pulled her away from her did she use that opportunity to grab the keys from her and run. She fumbled for a moment trying to find the key for the basement door but once she did she took off running grabbing the cellphone that she saw on the kitchen counter. Luckily for her it wasn’t password protected it was brand knew so he must had not gotten around to it yet. 

Emily dialed Morgans number on the cell and listened as it rang once then twice. She could hear footsteps coming up the stairs of the basement. “Hello, who is this?” a familiar voice said. 

“Morgan look I don’t have very long but have Garcia trace this I think I am still in Vegas look I can’t talk he is coming” she said panicked as she talked fast. She could hear Morgan put her on hold probably to call Garcia. She didn’t wait to see if he would get back on the line she stashed the phone in one of the draws and dashed down the hall. The longer she could keep him distracted from the phone the more time it gave Garcia to track its location. She ran past a few rooms before charging into the bathroom and locking the door behind her trying to catch her breath. Emily couldn’t believe how unbelievably tired she felt and how sore she was. She probably had one or two broken ribs from when Nathanial had kicked her and then there was her wrist which was definitely broken. 

Emily nearly jumped when she heard the pounding on the door and him yelling, “I know you are in there you bitch!” he screamed. “Don’t make me tear the door down because I will and what I have in store for you will be a lot worse than if you come out willingly” he threatened. 

Although she didn’t fancy another beating she remained in the bathroom knowing the longer she stayed in there the longer he was distracted. She could hear him well at Charlotte to grab the screwdriver and she knew the girl would. He was going to take the door down by its hinges. Emily started going through the draws for something she could use against him she had only found a pair of hair cutting scissors but that was better than nothing and she held them tightly in her left hand. Her right wrist had swelled up and was now blue and purple and practically useless. 

Before she knew it the door was opened and he was charging at her but before he could reach her she lunged forward with the scissors and stuck them in his gut. He groaned in pain and surprise, but he continued at her and wrapped his fingers around her throat.  She panicked and tore at his hands with her fingers trying to get him to let go of her. Air, she needed air she thought as she struggled to breath and she stopped struggling she no longer had the energy to struggle. 

Nathanial finally released her right before she felt like she was going to black out. However it wasn’t over yet her pulled her up by her hair and flung her across the room as if she were a ragdoll. The shower curtain lightened her fall against the wall but that didn’t stop the pain that shot through her shoulder. She struggled to get up but she managed to regain her footing but before she could even defend herself he had gotten a hold of her by her hair again. This time she yelped with pain as he threw her hard enough against the mirror that it shattered. Emily could feel blood rolling down her face but she couldn’t tell how bad it was anyways head wounds always bleed a lot worse than they actually were. 

Emily didn’t even know if she was feeling her injuries anymore it was hard to discern what injury was which anymore. She couldn’t stand upright without help she leaned against the sink and waited for whatever was next. Being as hot head as she was she couldn’t help but to say, “That’s it that is the the best you got. Wow I have seen monsters way worse then you, hell you give shame to the term monster you are more like an angry child with mommy issues. I’m sure you wish I was her so you can have your revenge.” All that earned her was being hit in the face again. Her vision started to go fuzzy as he half dragged half pulled her out of the bathroom and down the hall. Before she knew it she was back in that small room in the basement and thrust on the bed before being locked in there. Right before she blacked out she had a feeling of victory Garcia should have had enough time to track the phone, she had won. 


	5. Chapter five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is told from Morgan's point of view mostly because I bromance ship him and Emily and I have a different chapter in mind to be told from JJ's point of view.

It had been about two hours since Morgan had arrived at the BAU on Monday the team didn’t have any cases lined up yet, so it was going to be a long day of paperwork ahead for everyone. Morgan looked over at Emily’s empty desk he was getting a little worried about where she was but then again she had taken a trip to Vegas so maybe she was taking the day off. 

Around lunch he walked up to Hotch’s office, “Hey did Emily call in?” he asked after walking in. Hotch was sitting behind his desk and of course instead of eating he was going over case files it seemed as though he never took a break.  For a moment a worried expression flickered across Hotch’s face which was strange because for the most part his expression was stoic. 

“I haven’t heard anything from her, I was kind of hoping that she would have had contacted you or JJ” Hotch said putting the case file that was in his hand aside. This only made Morgan more worried so he pulled out his phone and shot Emily a text before saying anything else to Hotch. 

“I will try to get ahold of, it is strange of her to be late for work without calling. The last we got radio silence from her was back when she was dealing with Ian Doyle which almost got her killed” He pointed out remembering the whole experience of finding her with a stake in her gut. 

Hotch nodded, “alright if you hear anything tell me if she doesn’t reach back tell Garcia and have her track Emily’s phone gps location.” 

With that Morgan walked out of the room and tried calling Emily this time figuring that wasn’t as easy to ignore as a text message was. The call reached voicemail so he left a message telling her to call him back that she was making him worry about where she was. When he ended the call he looked over to see JJ heading towards him so he walked over to her. “Hey have you heard from Emily?” 

JJ shook her head, “I haven’t heard from her since her plane landed in Vegas and she called to tell me everything was fine and she was headed to her hotel. She had been planning on getting a few games in at the tables. It is a little strange that she hasn’t called me since but I didn’t want to bother anyone in case she had just gotten caught up and forgot to call” JJ explained concern was evident in her voice. “I’m guessing from your exit of Hotch’s office she hasn’t called in… This isn’t like Emily to not even call.”

“I know I am worried that something might of happened to her especially since you haven’t heard anything from her. That’s it i’m having Garcia track her gps” Morgan said heading down the hall. 

“I’ll go with you” she said stepping pace next to him. Once they reached the door to Garcia’s ‘cave’ they didn’t bother to knock and walked in to find the blonde haired woman playing an MMORPG on the computer. Figures this is what she would be doing while the rest of them were condemned to paperwork although he didn’t quite blame her. 

“Hey baby girl I need you to do me a favor” Morgan said mostly so she would know they were in the room considering the fact the blonde hadn’t even turned when they walked in. 

Obviously startled she quickly closed the game and turned to face them, “Of course handsome, it must be important to have had brought you to my batcave” Garcia said and then registered the looked of concern on both Morgan and JJ’s faces. “What’s wrong?” 

“We need you to find Emily’s phone gps location, no has heard from her in the past few days.” Before he had even finished Garcia had already turned and began to type.

“That’s strange this says it is still at the hotel…” Garcia began typing again. Neither Morgan or JJ said anything not want to disrupt the blondes thought process so instead they just exchanged a worried look. “She never checked out of the hotel and never got on the plane” Garcia said concern laced in her voice. “Look I will do what I can here so go tell Hotch.” 

Morgan nodded and left the room and noticed JJ stayed behind to talk to Garcia. He headed to Hotch’s office to update him just as he was about to open the door to the office his phone rang. It was an unknown number but he answered it anyways, “Hello, who is this?” To his surprise it was Emily on the other line. She was explaining to him to have Garcia trace the call and that she was still in Vegas. He put her on hold and called Garcia, “Baby girl I need you to track this number, 702-556-4289, it’s Emily I have her on the line now.” That was all he said before switching back to Emily. 

“Emily, I need you to tell me who is coming after you, what is happening?” Morgan said concerned and got silence in return. He remained on the line as he could hear noises in the background. Then he could hear someone yelling it was a deeper voice so he guessed it was a male Morgan couldn’t quite make out what he said. 

About five or ten minutes later Morgan could hear breathing on the speaker, by this time Spencer, JJ, Hotch and Rossi were gathered around the phone which was on speaker. “Hello?” 

“And which one are you? Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi or perhaps the boy genius what was his name, Spencer Reid” The voice on the other line was rough from yelling. 

“I’m Morgan and I who am I speaking to?” He said trying to be as calm as possible knowing if they said something wrong it could put Emily in more danger than what she was most likely in. 

“Let’s just say we have mutual friend, Emily Prentiss. Although I suppose friend would be putting it lightly considering what i’ve done to her” There was a hint of a sneer in the man’s voice. “I am going to guess you are or already have tracked this but no worries you are to late. By the time you find her i’d have broken her or at least become a part of her she won’t ever be able to get rid of like that Ian Doyle i’ve heard about.”

Before he could help himself he found himself yelling into the speaker, “If you hurt her I will fucking kill you!” 

“It’s too late for that” and with that the other line had went dead. 

Morgan looked over to see Garcia walking towards them and said, “I have an address and don’t think for one second you are going to leave me here. If Emily is in trouble I want to help you find her.” 


	6. Chapter 6

Emily slowly opened her eyes, everything hurt she was sure that put a new meaning to that is going to hurt in the morning. Of course she couldn’t have blacked out on the bed she thought as she sat up groaning from the strain of it. She looked over to see the familiar face of the blonde woman Charlotte. “Morning I slept just lovely” Emily said sarcastically she couldn’t help but be annoyed at the woman. 

Charlotte rolled her eyes, “Why did you even try that? You only made things worse for yourself. Why can’t you just accept this is your life now and get over it.”

Emily couldn’t believe what she had just said, “I am sorry if you have resigned yourself to this but I can’t. Look you and I both know you are more than this and there is more than life then being treated like a plaything then cast aside in a second as something newer and shiner comes along.” 

Suddenly Charlotte turned and walked to the other side of the room, “You know nothing about me or my life so don’t presume to know me.” 

“Then tell me, it’s not like you have anything better to do.” Emily said scooting back on the floor so her back was to the wall. 

Charlotte sighed and took a seat on the bed, “I was studying medicine before ending up here I started studying it because of my sister she suffers from schizophrenia. That was what Nathanial used against me..” for a moment there was silence before Charlotte started talking again her voice shaking. “He had photos of her and threatened to go back and kill her or maybe make her his new plaything and I couldn’t… can’t let that happen he still gets new photos of her.”

Emily was silent a little shocked she had figured Charlotte had stockholm syndrome not that she was being blackmailed into staying. “Look help is coming I know it is, I called a friend of mine at the BAU and trust me they tracked the call. I put the phone in a drawer and kept him busy” she said gesturing to the fresh and visible bruises that were on her throat in the form of hand prints. 

“That can’t be he wouldn’t let something like that happen.” Charlotte said a look of disbelief on her face. 

“You think I would get strangled for nothing” she said in a joking turn laughing a little as she said it. Maybe she was going crazy to laugh at a time like this but she couldn’t get past how damn tired she felt. Emily let her head rest against the wall as she fixed her gaze on Charlotte hoping the woman would believe her. 

“I really hope so” the woman said then looked at Emily concerned. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

Emily smirk, “Well being strangled and nearly killed does that to a person.” She said trying to make light of the situation but then said seriously. “I just feel so damn tired.”   
Charlotte sighed, “Well you probably have a concussion and that plus the lack of oxygen to your brain would be the reason for that.” The blonde woman stood up and helped Emily up and over to the bed, “You should get some sleep.”

Emily wanted to argue but couldn’t find it in her so instead she allowed the woman to lead her to the bed and help her on it before laying down and closing her eyes telling herself it was only for a few minutes. 

When she woke the blonde haired woman was gone from the room and there was a tray of food near the door. She ignored the food with the suspicion it might be drugged and the fact she knew if she tried to eat anything it would only make her sick to her stomach. Instead she went to work prying loose one of the metal bars on the bed, any weapon was better than no weapon. She knew that by now the team was looking for her but she wasn’t about to remain a sitting duck. 

Once the bar was free she grabbed it in her left hand considering her right wrist was basically useless at this point. She had torn the blanket in order to make a makeshift splint for it figuring that was better than nothing considering if it healed wrong it would have to be rebroken so it could heal properly. Honestly the only thing about the hospital visit, that would be necessary after this, she was looking forward to was the pain medicine. She stood and walked over to the door standing to the side of it and waited ignoring her sore muscles that were begging her to lay back down. 

She had been standing there for nearly twenty minutes before the door knob began to twist just in time she had been about ready to give up on her plan. She held the metal bar at the ready to hit whoever it was walking in. Emily hoped it wouldn’t be Charlotte but either way she couldn’t miss this chance. The door opened and it was Nathanial before he could even take more than to steps inside she swung at him ignoring the shooting pain in her right wrist from the effort of the movement. 

Luckily at that point adrenaline kicked in and she swung again her the crippling cry of pain exit Nathanial’s lips. “Who is breaking who now buttercup?” she said with malice in her voice. She dropped the bar the pain in her right wrist becoming too much to handle and instead kicked him in the nuts figuring that would cripple him for long enough. She grabbed the keys out of his pocket and took off down the hall after finding Charlotte who was bewildered and pulled her behind her. She wasn’t about to leave the woman with Nathanial,” Look we are going to escape while we can.” 

“But I thought your friends were coming” Charlotte said resistantly. 

“Yes they are but I would prefer not to stay here any longer than I have to” Emily said sighing. 

“This isn’t a good idea you can barely stand much less run” The blonde said eyeing Emily who was breathing hard from the effort that the stairs had taken on her injured body. 

“I will be fine just run and don’t stop not for me not for anything go back to your sister.” Emily said she knew that if Nathanial got to the car she wouldn’t be able to outrun him but Charlotte had a chance. Charlotte remained silent after that and before she knew it they had made it to the front door and out of the house. 

Charlotte took of running and Emily tried her best to keep up but was falling behind the pain from her broken ribs soon becoming too much she had to stop to just be able to breath. That was when she saw the car coming down the street and she took a chance and stopped in the middle of the road hoping they would slow down in time, if she could manage to get a ride out of this place then she might have a chance. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a bad place to end things but I won't be able to update for at least a week due to having to travel for a wedding. I am sorry, thank you for reading.

The car came to a stop and someone Emily didn’t recognize stepped out she had been hoping it would be one of her friends but she knew how unlikely that had been. “Are you okay?” the man said who had stepped out of the car. He had started walking towards her, he was a 5’9 average build.

In the back of her mind she knew she shouldn’t trust him but what other choice did she have. She glanced behind him at the street it looked like Charlotte had gotten away safely and had listened to her directions about not turning back for her. “Do you need some help?” The man asked looking at her with a look of concern. She ignored the feeling in her gut that was telling her something was wrong. She argued that she was being paranoid that not everyone was out to get her. 

“There is someone after me, I could use a ride to the nearest police station” Emily said after a moment, if she could get him to help her than she could get away from here. 

“Of course, get in” he said smiling and gestured to the passenger side of the car.  

Refusing his help she made her way to the other side of the car slowly and opened the car door the man was following behind her for what she assumed was to make sure she made it. That was until he put a cloth over her nose and mouth and held it there, her eyes went wide as she realized that it was most likely chloroform. She found herself losing consciousness and the last thing she saw the front door of the house open and a figure walk out. 

 

Emily slowly opened her eyes her head was pounding, and she could hear voice. She tried to move but she was on the floor of the backseat her wrists and feet were tied and a gag was over her mouth. She knew she should have listened to her gut although either way they would have got her. She didn’t have the strength to run and wouldn’t have gotten very far. Instead of struggling she focused on the voices she heard in the seats in front of her. 

“Look we have to get out of here there are FBI agents here. God why did you have to take a FBI agent Nathanial you know they won’t rest until they get her back” The voice was familiar then she realized it was the man who had pulled over and drugged her. “You should have been careful I heard talk that they had received a call from you that was why I was driving to your place because they know where you live.” 

“I know, I screwed up okay. I let her get the upper hand I didn’t think she would have that much fight left in her especially with all the time I spent wearing her down. I mean from looking at her do you think she could have put up much of a fight? What should we do with her?” Nathanial asked. 

“Well we could kill her or drop her somewhere although she knows what you look like, but either way they have your address they will know who you are. You need to go over the border to Mexico so they can’t get to you because whether you kill her or not they will kill you or lock you up. You shouldn’t have underestimated her, whatever you did to her she does look like the living dead.” 

The car came to stop and the door opened, she strained to look and see where they were but the back door opened and she was being drug out. Her feet were untied but they left her wrists tied and took out the gag. “Hello  there buttercup” Nathanial said as he stood in front of her smiling. “Now you are going to be good and not scream or my brother here is going to shoot you” as soon as he said that she could feel the barrel of a gun against her back. Out of self preservation she nodded and followed them taking the chance to look at where they were. It was an old motel the place looked rundown but empty except for them.

Nathanial unlocked the door to the room, and she was shoved in which caused her to lose her balance and fall to the floor landing hard on her shoulder. Emily whimpered a little from the pain but caught herself not wanting to give him the satisfaction. She was pulled carelessly up and dragged towards the bed not wanting to be pushed onto it and risk falling to the floor again she took a seat on it and a bottle was put in her hands. “Drink” Nathanial said, “If you don’t it will only make things worse for you.” So she put the bottle to her lips and drank fairly certain that it was drugged why else would he make her drink it. 

Emily couldn’t believe how tired she felt, tired of fighting back and being in a constant state of fear. She hadn’t had a good nights rest since before she was kidnapped, she supposed it could be worse she supposed. At least Charlotte got away the girl could help the team somehow. Emily put her feet up on the bed and leaned against the pillows, she could feel her body trying to resist the movement all of her muscles were screaming with agony from the strain of the past few days. She closed her eyes and she was out again this time she couldn’t be sure if it was drugs or just exhaustion that took hold of her.


	8. Chapter 8

Emily could hear unfamiliar voices in the background and was worried for a moment that they had brought in someone new to torture her. Well, she thought why put off the inevitable so she slowly opened her eyes to only be blinded by white light. 

“She’s awake” a voice to her right said and then the owner of the voice stepped closer. Emily turned her head to see a woman in what looked like scrubs. “Can you tell me who you are?” the woman said. 

“Where am I” her voice was hoarse from disuse and it was a struggle to get out the words so that they were audible. Emily felt it was to much to hope for that she was actually in what appeared to be a hospital she was probably just sleeping. She lifted her right arm out of habit noticing it was in a splint to be honest she felt less pain now than she had before but then again that wasn’t saying much because she felt like she had been hit by a car.  

“You are in a hospital, can you tell me how you are and is there anyone I can call?” The woman said a polite amount of concern on her face. Emily could tell she was telling the truth due to the medical equipment she saw around the room and there were several people out in the hall in scrubs and doctors coats. Of course there was always the sterile smell that could be used to identify any sort of doctor’s office or hospital. 

“I’m agent Prentiss” she said and then realized the woman would want her first name and said, “Emily Prentiss. As for who to contact I work for the BAU if you can contact them they will know who to send.”  The woman nodded and stepped away to speak to the doctor Emily assumed was on her case. Emily could guess that the woman had wanted her to list of some family but to be honest the team was more her family then her parents were she couldn’t imagine having to explain the whole thing to her mother and for now she was going to avoid that situation. 

The man walked in and smiled, it was one of those grins that seemed forced as though this was just part of his job but then again it was. “Hello Emily, I am glad to see you are awake, you’ve been out for a day now. I’m Dr. Jeff Goldstien. How did you receive these injuries?” he asked then added, “It is for protocol.”

“Look I need you to get ahold of SSA Aaron Hotchner or allow me access to a phone” Emily said deliberately ignoring his question she didn’t want to have to answer the questions more than once.   
“Someone is calling them now. So upon your arrival we had to send you to sugrey for your wrist and you had some internal bleeding along with collapsed lung but we have managed to stabilize you.” Goldstien explained and continued to list her injuries for which she was starting to lose attention until he mentioned, “We also found evidence of rape we went ahead and did what we could for a rape test at least to collect any evidence that hadn’t been contaminated. If you would like we can send up a psychiatrist or a priest.” 

“No priest or psychiatrist.” She said sharply despite the fact she could feel her eyelids growing heavy. All she wanted to do was sleep maybe it was the pain drugs or the exhaustion. Soon enough everything around her grew silent and dark and she let herself slip into a deep sleep instead of the weary one she had become accustomed to over the past few days. 

 

It was probably seven or six hours before she woke again although this time her room wasn’t empty. She looked over to see JJ curled up in the chair right next to the bed asleep Emily looked around the rest of the room to Morgan, Reid, and Hotch in the hall talking to the nurses and doctors. Garcia was the first to notice she was awake and walked right over to her and took her left hand. “You’re awake, God I am so glad you are okay, we were all so worried about you” Emily watched as Garcia woke JJ and for a moment Emily wished that Garcia hadn’t JJ had looked so peaceful while sleeping. 

Emily forced her smile to seem convincing that she was alright, “I’m fine no need to worry” she said. 

“You not fine and stop pretending to be, I can’t even imagine what you have been through the past few days” JJ said her voice was laced with concern and worry. 

“Hey it could be worse, I could be dead” she said jokingly trying to lighten the mood in the room. She noticed how tragically it failed when no one even cracked a smile. 

“Em do you remember how you got here?” JJ asked. 

Emily winced as she sifted to find a more comfortable position on the bed which didn’t seem possible. After a moment she sighed and said, “No nothing I remember being forced to drink something and then next thing I knew I was here. Did they catch him, or I guess them.”

The brunette could tell how JJ was going to answer before she said a word, “No we got a call that someone fitting your description showed up here they apparently found you on the ground by the emergancy enterance alone. Of course the security cameras didn’t get a good view of the people who left you there either.” 

Emily didn’t say a word and closed her eyes as a crippling sinking feeling filled her. Nathanial was still out there he could still hurt others or worse come back for her. Oddly enough she was sure he was right about breaking her sure she never gave him the satisfaction of knowing how broken she truly was but that didn’t change the fact that as she lay there she couldn’t help but feel fear with every ounce of her being. For some reason she remembered the piano man’s victim that had tried to kill him when she said that her monster was dead and she had to live with hers. Now she knew what that was like Nathanial was a different sort of monster compared to Ian Doyle at least some of what Doyle had done was justifiable he just wanted revenge for his son who he thought was dead while Nathanial truly wanted to break every part of her.  

It was JJ’s voice that broke her out of her thoughts, “Hey, hey it will be okay. We haven’t stopped looking for him and we found a woman named Charlotte who was quite helpful with forming a profile. She said that you saved her that you managed to get her away from there.” 

“That’s good that she is okay you should put both her and her sister in protective custody” she said figuring that if Nathanial was pissed enough he would go after the both of them and it would be better for them to have some form of protection then none. 

“Of course, i’ll tell Hotch” Garcia said from, Emily had almost forgotten she was there all of her attention had been focused on JJ.  

“Em you can talk about it… what happened” The way the blonde looked at her almost made her want to tell her everything that happened, but it was also that same look that made her realize she couldn’t bare having JJ know everything that happened. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to move past it and get back to work as soon as I can” Emily said rather sternly more stern than she had intended and she could see the hurt in the blonde’s blue eyes that her words had inflicted but JJ nodded and said nothing else. 


	9. Chapter 9

After what felt like a few weeks of being poked, prodded and asked a million questions Emily was finally released from the hospital. Emily had managed to assuage the team’s concern that she was fine and that they could go work on a case. She hadn’t told anyone not even JJ how she couldn’t sleep without taking drugs or the fact she could still feel Nathanial’s touch on her skin. Emily knew that if they did know they would only worry and they would all hover around treating her like she could break at any second. The nurse in charge of her had insisted that she be picked up by someone before they could release her from the hospital so not knowing who else to call she picked up her phone and called Garcia.   
“The knower of all things speaking” Garcia said rather cheerfully when she answered. 

“Hey Garcia” she said smiling a little, which was something she hadn’t been able to do since everything had happened. For some reason Garcia was always able to make her smile maybe it was the naive innocence surrounding the woman. “I umm need a favor” she said rather awkwardly, she wasn’t to used to asking for help often and she had found it rather frustrating.

“Of course love, anything” Gracia’s voice rang out. Emily could hear the concern in the blonde woman’s voice. 

“It’s nothing bad, the hospital won’t discharge me without making sure I have a ride home. They seem to not like it when people on pain meds drive home” she explained quickly hoping the concern that Garcia was feeling wouldn’t turn into pity. Emily couldn’t stand feeling as weak and powerless as she did, it pained her to think of herself as a victim so instead she tried her best to act strong instead of letting people know how truly broken she was. 

“Alright, Em I will be there at the speed of light.” With that Emily could hear the click of the phone call be ended and she brought down her phone. 

The room was rather empty, but then again what did she expect for a hospital. Her gaze shifted to the glass window and saw the nurses looking in at her and whispering, she could guess what they were talking about. How many times did they end up with an FBI agent in their hospital with intensive physical injuries and has been sexually assaulted to top it off. With their gaze on her she felt rather vulnerable and ended up pulling her jacket even tighter around herself, she just wanted to disappear. She wished she could just wake up and discover that everything that had happened was just some sort of twisted nightmare. 

Quickly her thoughts turned dark as she was sitting in the room alone, in silence. What if the team couldn’t find him, would he do what he did to her but to someone else. She couldn’t help but think about how disgusted she felt with herself for letting him touch her for not stopping him before it got that far. God, why was she so weak that she couldn’t even stop herself from being hurt, how was she going to prevent anyone else from being hurt? Emily brought her uninjured had to her cheek to feel the wetness from a tear and quickly brushed it away. Now was not the time to feel sorry for yourself, she silently scolded herself. 

“I told you i’d be here as fast as lightning” Garcia said as she walked into the room. 

Emily nearly jumped as she looked up to see the blonde woman in her usual colorful clothes and couldn’t help but feel terrified for a moment. The brunette’s entire body was tense she couldn’t relax even though she knew Garcia would never hurt her she couldn’t help but be ready for the worse. 

“Hey Em it’s okay no one is going to hurt” Garcia said softly her voice filled with concern. The blonde must have seen the terrified look on her face. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me” she said forcing a smile despite how foreign it felt on her lips. She couldn’t help but feel like she was a shell of her former self, and that terrified her. The thought that Nathanial had changed her to the point where she didn’t even recognize herself terrified her because it mean’s he won. 

Garcia looked at her suspiciously before seemingly accepting her response, “well then love let’s get you out of here.” 

Emily nodded and stood up and lost her balance a little as she went to walk, instantly Garcia went to help her and Emily couldn’t help but flinch away a terrified look on her face as she shouted, “no!” she hadn’t meant to shout but she couldn’t stand the thought of someone touching her. That was when Emily saw the hurt in the blonde woman’s eyes as she brought her hand back to her side. 

“I’m sorry Em, I didn’t mean to startle you” Garcia responded. 

“It’s fine, I was just startled is all” Emily remarked in a rather shaky voice. 

Garcia nodded and left it be, but the look on the blonde’s face told Emily she was worried about her. Emily went over and took a seat in a wheelchair one of the nurses had left out for her and bit her lip trying not to feel anxious as the blonde woman walked behind her to push the chair out of the hospital. Wanting to take the focus off of her she looked over at Garcia and asked, “How has Sergio been?” 

“He has been great although I think he misses you” the blonde woman said. 


	10. Chapter 10

“Look you don’t have to stay” Emily said watching as Garcia set up her computer on the table.   
“I’m not about to leave you here by yourself, love. Anyways I could use some company my bat cave was getting a little lonely.” Garcia said with the all so familiar way Emily had come accustomed to. She knew the last part was added to make her feel better. Well at least to feel like less of a charity case.   
Emily sighed but relented, “Fine, mi casa es su casa. Feel free to make yourself at home” the last part was more of an afterthought as she saw the blonde pull out another computer and set it up. “I’m going to go shower.”   
“Of course darling, just shout if you need anything” Garcia wore a look of concern on her face.   
“I will” Emily replied to make Garcia feel better as she headed up the stairs hiding the grimace as she walked up the stairs. Her half healed ribs were not taking to kindly to climbing up the flight of stairs and she had to stop for a moment to catch her breath. Emily chanced a glance behind her to see Garcia busying herself with the laptops and frowned. She knew that Garcia was just trying to be nice, and in honesty she hadn’t been looking forward to being left alone, she also didn’t want the blondes pity.   
Emily walked into her room, her breath caught in her throat as she looked around the room. Nothing had changed, but it all felt different as though she was the part that didn’t belong. Biting her lip she quickly withdrew from those thoughts and grabbed a tee shirt and a pair of sweatpants from the dresser before going into the bathroom. Emily hadn’t really paid too much attention to how she had looked in the hospital, she actually avoided looking in the mirror while she was there. However, now she chanced a look in the mirror and was horrified by what she saw. The woman in the mirror before her wasn’t her. Sure she had the same dark hair and pale skin, but her skin was taut and paler than usual. Her brown eyes were devoid of life, in all honesty the image in the mirror looked how she felt, a shell of her former self.   
Once the water for the shower was turned on and getting warm, Emily gingerly began to remove the clothes she had come home in the hospital in. Lastly she removed the brace her arm was in careful to not bump her wrist against anything or move it to fast. She avoided looking in the mirror again preferring not to see the hollow of the person she once was. Emily stepped into the shower and let the water run over her skin, hoping that maybe this would help her finally feel clean. Help her forget the feel of Nathanial’s hands on her skin… the feel of him inside her. Alas she was being too hopeful that a hower would magically fix how she felt inside. Emily grabbed the soap and proceeded to scrub her skin raw fruitlessly. At this point she was only getting more frustrated with herself. “Goddamn it! Just be better already.” She hadn’t even realized she had spoken allowed at that point.   
For the first time she finally let herself breakdown and cry, or at least she couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She wasn’t the kind of person that this happened to, she wasn’t the kind of person who would just let herself be raped and beaten. Emily couldn’t get it out of her head that part of it was her fault despite how irrational it sounded. Once she composed herself she shut of the water and stepped out of the shower.   
Once dressed Emily walked downstairs to be greeted by Garcia and look on her face of concern.   
“What is that look for?” Emily asked her irritation evident in her voice as she walked over to where she had left her purse and her prescription of pain pills. Her wrist had been throbbing since her shower and was steadily growing worse.  
“Well, I was a bit concerned you drowned up there or something with how long you were taking. Also, I saw the grimace of pain on your face as you came down the stairs, you’re still in pain aren’t you.” Garcia said ignoring the irritation in Emily’s voice.   
“Five points for Gryffindor, Sherlock” Emily commented and took the pain pill. She noticed the look of hurt her remark had left. “Sorry, I’m just tired it’s been a long day. I really didn’t mean to be so snappy.”   
“You’re forgiven love, but only because your references were pretty on point” Garcia grinned as she spoke quickly returning to her usual demeanor. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep?”  
Emily didn’t respond, the thought of trying to sleep in her room upstairs was daunting. The thought of being with herself for company was actually rather daunting, because that was when she was left to relieve everything that happened trying to figure out what she could have done differently. Instead, she walked over to the couch in the neighboring room and sat down. “I might just watch some tv for a little bit, if that’s okay.”   
“Of course, knock yourself out. Pretend like i’m not even here” Garcia had turned a little to look at where Emily sat on the couch.   
“I know I don’t say it often, but thanks for being a great friend.” Emily’s voice was rather soft when she said it, but she meant it. She was glad that Garcia had refused to leave her alone here and instead kept her company. It made her feel a little less lonely than how she had felt over the past few weeks.


	11. Chapter 11

Not being cleared for active duty wasn’t about to stop Emily from going to work the next day. She was getting more and more frustrated doing nothing all day it just left her more time to think about what had happened. At the very least she could show up and see what the team had come up with or if they had started a new case she could at least help with. She got out of bed, her eyes lingered on the pain pills for a moment she knew the relief they would give her from the broken ribs and arm but decided it was best to not take them. She wanted her head to be clear, no she needed it to be if she was going to be of any use to the team. Instead, she walked over to the closet and pulled out clothes grimacing at the motion of lifting her good arm high enough to get the hanger off. Emily could tell it was going to be a long painful day but a part of her didn’t mind the pain it helped her know she was alive and that this wasn’t some blissful dream she was going to wake from to find herself back in that basement.

After getting dressed Emily retrieved her gun from the drawer of her bedside table along with her badge and walked downstairs to see that Garcia had already left. Part of her was relieved she knew the blonde would just try to talk her out of going with the argument she needed to rest. 

Emily scanned her name badge to get into the building and headed to her team’s floor. It wasn’t until she had to take a deep breath that she realized she had been holding her breath, her stomach was in knots she hadn’t seen the entire team since she was in the hospital. She knew they were going to want to know everything she hadn’t gone into detail about what had happened at least not beyond what they needed to know for their MO. The thought of seeing JJ also terrified her, not in the way Nathanial terrified her, but she knew that eventually she would break down and tell the blonde everything and she didn’t want to see the look of hurt and pity on her face. JJ was the last person she wanted to pity her. 

Ever since the moment she had met JJ something about her had drawn Emily to her and it had taken way to long for Emily to admit her feelings for the blonde. Only Morgan had guessed it from the start her feelings for JJ. He was the first person on the team Emily had told about not being interested in men after a few drinks at the bar with him. Emily hadn’t been the most public with her sexuality to the team, but she hadn’t gone through the lengths to hide it either she just preferred to keep her personal life separate from work, that was if she miraculously found time to have a personal life. 

She took a moment to collect herself before walking into the room. The last thing Emily had been expecting was the silence that followed her walking inside. No one said a word, but she could see from there facial expressions they knew what had happened. A shiver went down her spine and she could feel the color drain from her face. The only one acting normal was Reid who hadn’t even noticed the silence that had fallen and was instead turning pages in the book he was holding. She quickly averted her gaze from those around her and walked over to her desk next to Reid’s. “Hey, earth to the genius boy,” she said in a teasing tone. 

Only after hearing her voice did Reid look up from his book, “Emily! You know I’ve missed you with you gone I’ve had no one to watch movies with after all no one else in the team can speak as many languages as you.”

Emily smiled for the first time in a while, it was nice to see that Reid was just as oblivious as ever. She was relieved that conversation had started up in the room again. “So where is the rest of the team?”

“Hotch went to go see his kid before coming back here, he didn’t leave last night, and he said he would be back soon. As for Morgan and Rossi, they’re in the briefing room going over your case again… Actually, it is perfect that you are here we could use some fresh eyes plus I don’t think you’ve really told us everything, so you might have some more insight then we do.” Reid said as he stood up from his chair. 

Emily should have known that she couldn’t keep what had happened to herself not with what the team did, not with Nathanial still out there. She didn’t quite know what to say to Reid but was saved by the fact he was already walking to the briefing room without waiting for her to say a word. Again, even though he was a genius he was still as oblivious as ever a fact Emily took relief in.  
What surprised Emily was the lack of surprise when the team excluding Hotch noticed her walk into the briefing room. “I told you she wouldn’t last the week without coming into work. You owe me twenty bucks Morgan” Garcia said.

“Wait you guys were taking bets on when I would come in by the end of the week?!” Emily didn’t know if she should be offended, surprised, or if she should laugh. 

“Well, you are a creature of habit plus you were totally restless yesterday,” Garcia remarked as she was typing on her laptop. 

The amused look on her face fell once she noticed the case that was up on the board and that her name was under the victim category. She couldn’t help but let the self-doubt that crept into her head that she was just that weak to have let herself become just that a victim. Emily felt a hand gently squeeze her arm and she instinctively flinched and her whole body grew ridged until her gaze fell onto JJ standing next to her. She could see the look of hurt flash in the blonde’s eyes as her hand fell back to her side. “It’s okay to let yourself feel,” she said softly. 

As much as Emily wanted to break down and let herself be comforted by JJ she didn’t let herself. A part of her was scared that if she did fall apart she wouldn’t be able to put herself together and she would really be as broken as she felt. Keeping her tone as emotionless as she could, “Where are you guys at on finding Nathanial?”

The moment of silence that followed only confirmed the dread that was forming her gut they hadn’t found him. “We had one sighting of him, but the description was vague and at this point cold. We do have a trail of victims it looks like he has been doing this for a while now. For the most part, his victims didn’t escape him alive” Morgan said. “Charlotte and you are the exceptions. It looked like he kept her alive although she was his captive for a while. We haven’t been able to get much out of her though it seems like she is still protecting him.”

“I think she has a form of Stockholm syndrome. He convinced her that he could harm her sister if she betrayed him, so I think she created this fantasy that he cared for her because he kept her alive even when the others he brought in died. At least I don’t think I was the first one she had seen in that basement…” she feels silent for a moment her composure slipping slightly as she got lost in her thoughts. For a moment she could have sworn she was back there even though she knew it was all in her head. 

JJ could instantly tell something was wrong from Emily’s facial expression and lightly grabbed the brunette’s hand. “Just breath… you’re okay” she said softly.

Emily was jerked back to the present and she let out a sigh of relief to see that she was still in the room with her friends versus the basement. This time when JJ went to release her hand Emily held on tighter not wanting the comfort the blonde’s presence brought her to be gone. “He kept her because she knew enough about medicine to keep his victims alive if he went too far when they angered him. Nathanial has quite a temper when he doesn’t get the reaction he wants. He favors both physical and mental punishments I think Charlotte got a lot of the mental at least once he showed her picture of her sister that was recent to keep her under his control. As for me… he tried tended to favor physical abuse. I guess I didn’t give him the reaction he wanted. It entertains him to break his victims to find what makes them finally break to the point where they are less than a person” her voice trembled slightly as she spoke. Emily took a moment and looked around to see the look on their faces and regretted it instantly as she saw the pity in their eyes. She let go of JJ’s hand and walked out of the room she needed air and to be out of that room and out of her head. 

Emily walked down the hall and out the door that led to the stairs knowing no one would be there she let herself fall apart. She couldn’t breathe or at least it felt like her chest was tightening and her entire being was on edge. The door opened and instinctually she drew her gun and turned to face the person that opened the door. For a moment she was stuck in a trance it was like she wasn’t there. She knew she was in the stairwell at the BAU but in her head, she wasn’t. She was back in the basement she felt helpless. 

“Emily, it’s me. You’re safe. Emily…” She recognized the voice, it belonged to JJ and with that, she was brought back. Horrified with herself she lowered her gun and let it fall to the floor.

“JJ” that was all she could manage to say as tears welled in her eyes. Almost in an instant, the blonde’s arms were around her.

“It is going to be okay, we’re going to do everything we can to catch Nathanial. I won’t let anything bad happen to you again.”

In that moment Emily let herself fall apart she let herself be vulnerable. “I’m scared. I am afraid and hate how it makes me feel. I can’t stop getting lost in what happened… he got to me JJ it’s like he is in my head and I can’t make it stop.” 

JJ remained silent and just held onto the brunette tighter.


	12. Chapter 12

    Emily didn’t want the moment with JJ to end but she knew that they would have to go back to the briefing room soon or the others would worry. Emily pulled away from the embrace after a few more seconds passed. “I know I’ve left a lot of what happened out, but I can’t talk about it not yet” her voice was barely audible. It seemed trying to keep herself together in front of the blonde was harder than she had anticipated.

    “It’s okay Em I know you will talk when you are ready. I just want you to know that I am here and I’m not going anywhere” JJ said taking Emily’s hand into her own.

    Emily bit her lip before speaking again, “You know what scares me most about him being out there still?” She fell silent for a moment trying to compose herself, “I’m scared that he will come back and hurt the people I care about. The thought he might hurt you terrifies me I don’t give a shit what happens to me, but I can’t lose you.”

    “Em you aren’t going to lose me, I promise” JJ said softly.

    Despite trying to keep it together tears welled in her eyes and it was taking everything she had to not let go of her emotions. Now isn’t the time was on replay in her head. “We should get back, they are probably getting worried.” Emily moved towards the door and opened it. She took a breath and composed herself and walked back to the briefing room.

    The team looked up fell silent when she walked back inside, “Sorry… I just needed a minute. I promise I’m fine” the last part had been a lie, but it came out with ease. Maybe if she said she was fine enough then she would believe it and be fine.

    Emily could see the concern on their faces and before anyone could say something she spoke again, “I want to talk to Charlotte.”

    “Are you sure you are up for that?” Hotch asked the concern all too evident. “Look we need her to talk and maybe she will talk to me. I was getting through to her she opened up about her sister. Protecting Nathanial is second nature to her at this point with how long he has been in her head. Maybe seeing someone familiar will make her more comfortable or at least less protective of him. Also, where are at with contacting her family?” She knew that having been held captive by Nathanial it could be seen as a conflict of interest to be working on the case. However, it seemed the team had gotten nowhere with the girl and if she could get something out of her then it was worth a shot. Also, she was tired of doing nothing and being treated like a victim.

    Victim, she hated that term. In a way it made her feel weak and helpless as though there was nothing more to her and what happened beyond that word. It would be the first thing that her team thought of in reference to this case. She wanted to be more than a victim she wanted to be anything but helpless. In a way she wanted to see Nathanial suffer or at least be in prison and accountable for everything he had done.

    “Emily, you still need to go in for a psych evaluation before we can even consider you can work any case even just questioning a victim. Not to mention you are also one of his victims” Hotch stated.

    There it was again that damn term. “I’m not a victim” she retorted without thinking. “Look I will do the psych evaluation, but Charlotte can’t wait. At least let me ask her about her family so we can find and contact them that their daughter is alive.” After a moment Emily added, “Please I need to do something I need to help. I can’t just sit here and do nothing while he is still out there. He could already be looking for his next target. At least let me Charlotte who is still alive and probably scared out of her mind.”

    Hotch studied her for a moment before relenting, “Fine, but you are doing a psych evaluation first thing tomorrow and you are only to ask her about her family nothing about the case.”

    The smile that came to her face was a little less forced then all the others had been. Finally, she was able to do something to help someone instead of being treated like she was going to break. It was exactly the victory she had wanted but she would take it.

    The team finished going over their notes on the case and Hotch had sent Reid and Morgan to the house again to try and find anything they had missed. Soon it was only her and Hotch in the room.

    “Emily there is one more thing I want you to do…” Hotch said once the silence seemed to get unbearable. “I want you to see a psychologist, preferably one who specializes in trauma. What you went through was traumatic and would be for anyone in the same position. I also need to know that if I put you out in the field that you have been cleared by a psychologist because I can’t have you go into a situation that you are not ready for. Until you see one and I get the all clear from them I can’t put you out in the field and the most you can do is paperwork.”

    “I don’t need therapy” Emily retorted the last thing she wanted to do was go talk to someone about what had happened.

    “Look, we are all worried about you. Can you tell me that everything you said today was the extent of what happened? I know there is more to it and keeping it in will only make things worse.”

    Despite wanting to protest against she knew that being cleared by a psychologist was just another part of being able to come back to work again. She had seen other agents go through traumatic situations and most of them couldn’t even do the paperwork until they got the all clear. “I can’t tell you that the beatings were all of it… I can’t” she shook her head and took a breath to steady her shaky voice. “Fine I’ll do the therapy.”


	13. Chapter 13

     To say she was nervous about speaking to Charlotte was an understatement. The last time she had seen her she had told her to run. A part of her was glad she got away then and another part of her wished she had been able to run too. If she had run, they would never have found out about Nathanial’s brother. Something clicked in her memory and she couldn’t believe she had forgotten that conversation in the car, they were going to the border. Instantly she reached for her phone and called Garcia.  
     “Goddess of all knowledge at your service” Garcia’s voice rang out.  
     “Hey, Garcia. I can’t believe I forgot this, but they said they were going to try and get into Mexico. Is there any way to have them check for them when they are stopped to show their passports? They’ve probably changed their names, so they will need photos of them.” Emily still couldn’t believe she had forgotten and because of that, they could already be gone.  
     “Of course! I will send them photos now we got their full names after we found the house where you were held. Nathanial was rather stupid and used his real first name the last one was a fake though. I was able to find his identity and the brothers. Nathanial Arnott and the brother is Isaiah Arnott.”  
     “You are amazing Garcia thank you!”  
     “Hey Em, are you okay? Earlier when you left we were all worried about you… You would tell us if this is all too much for you right?” Garcia’s tone was softer and more serious than before.  
     “I’m fine, I just need all of this to be over with. The sooner he is locked up the better because he won’t be able to hurt anyway else.”  
     “Hurt anyone else, or you? It is okay to admit you are scared Em” Garcia responded.  
     Emily didn’t quite know what to say she didn’t want to admit that she was terrified. How it felt like he could just show up out of nowhere and hurt the people she loved or even her again. If it hadn’t been for her need to get back to the team, to her family she didn’t know if she would have survived or she would just be as broken as Charlotte.  
     “I will be fine Garcia, I promise. I got to go, I have to speak with Charlotte.” With that Emily ended the call not giving Garcia the chance to get in her head. Despite not being a profiler, the blonde had gotten quite good at reading her.  
     Emily took a breath and then opened the door to the room. Charlotte had a bit more colour to her than she did in the basement it made her look healthier less of a captive. Then again, she wasn’t a captive anymore. Surprise was etched on the woman’s face as she took in Emily. “I guess no one told you what happened did they”  
     “No, they just kept trying to get me to talk about Nathanial. Maybe, if I don’t betray him anymore he will forgive me, and he won’t go after my family” Charlotte said.  
     Emily had the feeling that was the most the woman had said the entire time she was here. Nathanial had really gotten into her head and warped it to benefit him. “We both know that isn’t true. Nathanial was just using you he didn’t actually care about you Charlotte.”  
     “If he didn’t care then why was I around for so long. No one else lasted long before he grew bored and killed them. Even you would have lost his interest when you stopped fighting him and stopped being so entertaining to play with. I wonder did you enjoy it all, him being inside you” venom was laced in Charlotte's voice.  
     A part of her felt sorry for the woman and another part wanted to make her hurt for that comment for bringing it all back up in her head again. She had to remind herself that Charlotte was just another one of his victims and was unfortunate enough to have been held by him for long enough for her to warp who she was. “How long were you there with him?” Emily didn’t notice till now that she had never asked the woman that. “As for your other question, no I didn’t enjoy it” her voice was cold and emotionless as she said those words. Emily just hoped that by answering her questions she could keep Charlotte talking and would be able to get something useful from her. “Why are you still protecting him, you are free now he can’t get to you.”  
     “I spent a year there with him. You don’t know anything if you think he can’t get to us even here.” Charlotte pulled an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to Emily. “He sent this to the hospital while I was there the first day. You were still with him then.”  
     Silently Emily opened the envelope and pulled out its contents. There was a photograph of a girl that looked like Charlotte but younger she turned the photo over and saw the writing sprawled out on the back. “If you tell them anything she will be next” Emily read aloud.  
     “So that was why you never gave this to the team wasn’t it?” Emily asked.  
     Charlotte nodded, “It is also why I am not going to say anything else about him. I can’t risk her life. Maybe, if I don’t betray him even more now she will be safe.”  
     If Emily hadn’t been aware of the lengths Nathanial had gone to stalk her and find out about those around her she would have thought the woman crazy for thinking that. “Your sister, what’s her name? I never asked before.”  
     “Nadia,” Charlotte said taking the photo from Emily’s hands.  
     “What about your family where are they? We can contact them and tell them you are alive. You could even go back and try to have a life again.”  
     Charlotte nodded, “Yeah I think they should still have the same number. 975-631-7226.”  
     Emily typed the number into her phone and sent it to Garcia, “I know he is threatening you, but you should consider talking to the team about everything you know about Nathanial. We’re going to get him sooner or later I promise.”  
     Charlotte remained silent and just shook her head in response. After a minute of silence, Emily could tell she had gotten everything she could out of her. She turned and left the room.  
     The first person she saw upon exiting the room was Morgan. The smile that touched her lips was forced. “I got a number for her family.”  
     “Damn you are amazing Em! We’ve been trying to get her to talk for days now and haven’t been able to get anything.”  
     Emily shrugged, “I guess being held captive had its benefits, right?” She didn’t know if she meant that as a joke or not.  
     Morgan’s face grew grave, “I’m sorry that we didn’t figure it out sooner than we hadn’t been able to save you from him.”  
     “It is what it is,” she said simply. “I don’t think we are going to get much else out of Charlotte. He threatened to take her sister hostage if she said anything. It’s why she is back to trying to protect him. Nathanial was smart enough to turn her into the perfect victim. She isn’t going to give him up unless her sister was in his clutches and even then, she might try to please him to make sure she isn’t hurt.”  
     “She didn’t deserve what happened to her or what he is still doing to her and neither did you. damnit I hate being so powerless. I swear when we get this guy I will make sure he pays for what he did.”  
     “I just want to forget about it,” Emily said walking over to her desk and grabbing her bag. “I’m going to head home.” She didn’t want to admit that her ribs and arm ached like hell and all she wanted to do was take some pain meds and try not to think about any of this.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to point out any grammar and spelling errors I would be glad to fix them. Also feel free to share your opinion and ideas for what you think should happen. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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